There is really
Only one question
That matters.
What do you want?
Not, what do you think
You want.
Not, what do you want
For Christmas.
But underneath
It all, when you are
Laid naked,
When all distraction
Fades away
And you face
The Great Silence
And you are unwrapped
Like a gift, or a mummy.
What is the answer
To the question
That you are
Wrapped around
And around
A billion times?
What do you want?
What do you really
Want?
To be fair,
It’s a very difficult
Question.
That’s why God
Gives us an entire
Lifetime
To answer.
And we will all
Answer.
We are all
Answering
Right now.
What are we
Wrapped around?
Close your eyes.
Feel down deep
To that burning
Coal in the depths
Of your furnace.
Feel it burning
In the womb
Of your chest.
Cradle it in
Your hands.
Turn it over
And over again
Like a fierce
Diamond.
Or a piece
Of roughened
Coal.
Prepare for the day
When you will be
Naked before God.
And I mean naked
Like you have
Never been.
Mind and heart
And soul laid bare,
Scattered,
Like when
As kids we’d
Grab a handful
Of dirt, and
Scatter it on
A slab, looking
For the bug
We were trying
To catch.
He will sort
Through you.
And in that moment
You will finally see
What you really
Wanted,
Either sparkling
Or rotting
There in the
Scattered dust
Of all you thought
You were.
Better to know it now
Before the day
Of Great Silence.
Many will be unprepared
For what they find.
And so I ask again,
What do you want?
We may say things
Like love, or to be loved,
Or goodness, or peace,
Or justice,
Or to make a difference,
Or to be happy. Or to
No longer be in pain.
Go deeper.
We all say those things.
But what do we mean?
What lies beneath?
Animal instinct?
Chemistry? Biology?
Are you just a function
Of time and chance?
Just another squirrel
Trying to get a nut?
What if the Ancient Book
Is right? What if we
Are eternity wrapped
In skin? What if, one day
We are unwrapped,
Set free to float
Or fall forever?
What if we are born
Running home,
Whether up
Or down?
And what if God
Is love, like He says?
What if He is peace?
What if He is goodness?
What if He is joy?
What if He is justice?
Purpose?
What if He is, Himself,
One day,
The end of suffering?
If you really wanted
Those things,
Would you run
From Him
All your life?
And if He is
All of those things,
What do you think
You will find
At the end of the road
That leads away
From Him?
Is eternal misery
So strange a fate
For those who
Look Life, and Love
And Joy and Justice
In the face
With eyes He made
And mind He made
And say, a million times,
A lifetime of times,
“I don’t want you.
I prefer happiness
Without you.
I’ll take my joy
And leave.
I’ll take breathing
Without breath.
I’ll take living
Without life.
I will go
Where you are not
And find
My dream.”
Beloved, this is hell.
The place where God
Is not with you.
And so I ask again,
Who do you want?
There are only
Two to choices:
Life
Or death.
Yourself
Or Him.
And herein
Is our tragedy.
Show me the one
Who loves virtue
More than convenience;
Who has
Forged himself
A heart
Of truth.
There is none righteous.
No, not one.
We are wise
To despair.
We are all
Born running
Away.
Coal, not diamond.
Goat, not sheep.
But here is
Good News:
I am told
There is One,
Who is glorious,
Whose appearance is
Like unto a son
Of man.
I am told
He once made
Water into wine.
And long before that,
Nothing into
Everything.
He makes coal
Into diamonds.
Sinners
Into saints.
How he loves
The crooked ones,
Like us.
How he gives
And gives
And gives
Himself
To all
Who ask.
And how
He longs for you
To long for Him.
Alone.
