Prybar

Lord, I am yours now.
Just that. Come what may.
Give me steel in my soul Father
Keep my wandering eyes
Off of the cookies. The rewards;
The benefits of faithfulness. Whatever
They may be. Give me the steel

To love you with an inexorable love.
An all my life love – a
No matter what you do or allow –
No matter how painful or impossible to understand
I will still follow you hard –
Love.

Will I seek God
Or just the things of God?
The Giver
Or only the gifts?

If God leaves me in prison
For a crime I didn’t commit
Stripped of freedom and comfort
Cold stone and time
Will I still
Grasp and cling,

Holding God
In a deathgrip

Come what may?

Lord I will love you
With all of my heart
That I have to give.

Give me more to give.
Or let me be content
With whatever meager portion
Is mine
To give.

You only want
ALL. Doesn’t matter
How big or small.
You only want all.

I cry out because I know
I am a fool and weak.
And smart and stupid.
And broken. And cannot.

Power belongs to God.

It’s so counter intuitive.
Christ is the gatekeeper
To all things. Life in particular.
To even want Him
He has to drag you
Kicking and screaming.

We don’t have the keys
To our own hearts, even.

Dead men who don’t know we’re dead.
Waiting in a train station
For our train –
And we don’t get to be privy
To the schedule.

We know only this.
It will come. It will come.
God is faithful and it will come.

Whosoever will call upon the name of the Lord
Will be saved.

Our sense of control is the ledge
We hold by our fingertips.
Dangling.

Our life is the prybar
beneath our fingers.

The lesson:

Fall.